The Intro

"Well one life decision down. Only about 32 left to go."

The same day I said this was the same day I was also told, 'Life is short...Thankfully.' I can't help but agree just a bit as I've had to make all these decisions for my life lately. While normally I tend to wish life was longer out of fear that I'll never accomplish all that I hope to here on this earth, I'm starting to think I ought to appreciate my limited time here on Earth and just try not to screw up too badly. If I had much more time, I'm sure I would be the direct cause of some big catastrophe. Of course, this may be my cynical side that tends to poke out its ugly head from time to time, especially as a 21 year old. 21; that scary age where all your decisions are going to impact the rest of your life.

And with that comes a lot of time spent in limbo, which is where I am right now. I'm in the middle of what I guess you could call a mini-mid-life-crisis.

Since becoming an 'adult,' I've actually done fairly well with my time. I went to school in Hawaii, made excellent grades, served as President of the Honors Society, got my first apartment, volunteered abroad in Lithuania for five months, dumped boys, got dumped, pinned a lot of stuff on pinterest that I haven't tried, lost friends not worth keeping, made some for life, and finally decided on a general course of study after changing my major three times. I made dreams come true then came up with more dreams and thought of all sorts of ways to help improve the world, as giving back is something I strongly  believe in. Since becoming an adult, I finally have a sense of who I am and what I want out of life. Now it's just a matter of getting there, which is where I am now and the purpose of this blog's inception; to chronicle my adventures of figuring it all out and my pursuit of happiness and purpose. That's literally the project here: to get myself out of limbo and in the direction of true happiness.

While I was study peacebuilding, one of the first things we talked about was whether you yourself need to be a peaceful person to help bring peace to others. The answer is yes and no. I say no because everyone has to have experienced some kind of discord to empathize with others who have yet to find self or social peace. But the answer is also yes because I believe that once a person is able to find inner peace, they can spread peace within their family, and from their family, it can spread into a community, and eventually make its way into the world.

For a good while, I feel that I was pretty good at maintaining the balance between inner and outer peace. But admittedly, I have felt a lack of purpose since coming home from my work abroad, hence I entered limbo. And with limbo came bad habits as I stopped doing the little things to keep my equilibrium, which is probably why I haven't moved onto the next real phase of my life sooner than later. It's not to say that I'm not happy, but I know I can do better. I realize that happiness is a direction, not a destination, or so a fortune cookie told me. That being said, I'm simply going to do the things that I believe will help steer more in that direction and generate more positivity. My goal is to have a weekly project or fix a bad habit every week and just take it one day at a time, starting with the simple things. For instance, this week is simply to sleep only 7-8 hours a day versus my normal time table of either 5 or 12 hours. By doing so, I simply hope to be a healthier, happier, and more effective citizen of the world and stay on top of my game so I can go on to make the decisions I need to, help others, and do all those things I hope will help save the world.

My name is Bailey Loveless and this attempt number 8. At blogging that is. Not suicide, thank you Claire Bennett (kudos if you know the reference).